Comments on: How good is my short story? Please rate out of 10 and give suggestions http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/ Do It Yourself Gardening and Landscape Design Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:15:59 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: 123458 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1596 123458 Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:54:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1596 It went too fast and was sort of hard to follow. I think when you switch from one person to another it complicated things. Your idea was great. It sends a message that we need to do something about the environment. After a little revision it will make an incredible story. For now I give it a six. <br><b>References : </b><br> It went too fast and was sort of hard to follow. I think when you switch from one person to another it complicated things. Your idea was great. It sends a message that we need to do something about the environment.
After a little revision it will make an incredible story. For now I give it a six.
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]]> By: i_read http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1595 i_read Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:36:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1595 If you post it on http://www.chapteread.com you'll probably get more feedback because the site is made to help writers. You could post your work for critique to get better feedback.<br><b>References : </b><br> If you post it on http://www.chapteread.com you’ll probably get more feedback because the site is made to help writers. You could post your work for critique to get better feedback.
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]]> By: **TEAM JACOB** http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1594 **TEAM JACOB** Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:07:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1594 6.5/10<br><b>References : </b><br> 6.5/10
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]]> By: illornot http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1593 illornot Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:45:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1593 3/10 It's not engaging enough. much to hurried. You jump around to much. I probably ouldnt do better but I can see that it's not workin to good. Where's he red thhread, the plot, the message?? If yöu put som more effotrt to it it could be a good story i think<br><b>References : </b><br> 3/10 It’s not engaging enough. much to hurried. You jump around to much. I probably ouldnt do better but I can see that it’s not workin to good. Where’s he red thhread, the plot, the message?? If yöu put som more effotrt to it it could be a good story i think
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]]> By: zoe c http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1592 zoe c Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:40:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1592 I only read the first couple of paragraphs and stopped. You used the word them too many times and you have changed from third person point of view to first person point of view in a matter of a paragraph. Pick one and stick to it. I don't know if it gets better or worse from then on, I couldn't continue reading. Sorry.<br><b>References : </b><br> I only read the first couple of paragraphs and stopped. You used the word them too many times and you have changed from third person point of view to first person point of view in a matter of a paragraph. Pick one and stick to it. I don’t know if it gets better or worse from then on, I couldn’t continue reading. Sorry.
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]]> By: C.Gholy http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1591 C.Gholy Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:20:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1591 In my opinion I would say 7/10. Good job on emotions. Fav part was 'The man tossed and turned in his queen sized bed in his queen sized house. He could not sleep. I cannot fail… and will not fail. As CEO of the largest company in the world you would think money would be the least of his problems. Wrong. ' <br><b>References : </b><br> In my opinion I would say 7/10. Good job on emotions.

Fav part was
‘The man tossed and turned in his queen sized bed in his queen sized house. He could not sleep. I cannot fail… and will not fail. As CEO of the largest company in the world you would think money would be the least of his problems. Wrong. ‘

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]]> By: figureskatingqueen http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/comment-page-1/#comment-1590 figureskatingqueen Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:11:59 +0000 http://yourrockgarden.com/501/how-good-is-my-short-story-please-rate-out-of-10-and-give-suggestions/#comment-1590 idk<br><b>References : </b><br> idk
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